It’s easy to screw kids up, and your parents probably did. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. If you’re struggling with living a life of contentment, and your intimate relationships haven’t been working very well, then I’d bet almost anything you have childhood developmental trauma. (CDT) In counseling, I’m able to show clients how what happened to Read More
relationships
Why Choosing a Hot, Sexy Mate May Make You Miserable.
Maybe I’m stating the obvious, but who you choose to spend your life with matters more than just about any decision a person could make. In my fantasies, I am the sole purveyor of marriage licenses, and no one can marry without my approval. Why do I want to control people’s choices? Most individuals who have married, left to their own free will, have done a disastrous job. So, what can we do to change that?
It’d be helpful if people put more than a little thought into it. When a person is 22 and focusing on hot guys, hot women, and those who can party down, the odds of the marital deal working out are slim to none. To me, the most important thing you can do is 1. Allow yourself to get past your 20s and get to know yourself and what matters to you. Who you are at 20 or 25 is not remotely who you will be at 35 or 45. 2. Focus on finding someone solid. This means they are healthy mentally and emotionally, free of addictions, do what they say they will do, are who they say they are, and you can count on them in all the different ways that matter. 3. Be able to tell yourself, “Man, this person enhances my life so much that I’d be a fool to let them go.”
How to Make a Marriage Work With StepChildren
The art of making blended family relationships work. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years, I have begged friends not to marry a man or woman with minor age children. Marriage is hard without the added unique challenges of children from other relationships, not to mention the wild card known as the former spouse. Some former Read More
How to Leave Without Hurting Your Partner
Breakup tips for those who don’t do confrontation by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. “Many human beings will go out of their way to avoid discomfort and to not cause others discomfort. This policy, adopted early in life, will cause lifelong suffering and dysfunction. The only way to true health and good relationships is to be real, Read More
Dealing With a Nagging, Bitchy Wife.
Nagging, bitchy women, and dealing with partners who don’t listen. The quickest way for anyone to get zero cooperation from a woman is to call her a bitch. After that vile word is spoken, she will take pleasure in sticking an imaginary knife into whoever’s heart and twisting it with glee. Even if you have Read More
If You Want to Better Understand Women, Read This.
Men say they don’t understand women and Dr. Becky Whetstone explains what they need to know. The question is, can they do it?
Learn Ways to Trust People Again, and Why it’s So Important
There must be a way to vet friends and potential mates and end up with the type of trusting relationship we all long to have. The type of trust that allows you to take your walls down, keep them down, and enjoy the fulfillment that solid interpersonal relationships bring.
11 Best Ways to Date Smart and Find The One
Three stages of dating and tips for finding love. By Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. We know the world is full of unhappily married couples, but guess what — it’s also full of unhappily dating couples. That’s right — I’m talking about unmarried men and women in committed relationship who are hopelessly incompatible and remain together even Read More
27 Ridiculous Ways People Sabotage Their Relationships
How single people can stop self-sabotage and get what they want. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years I was a fool in relationships. If I was interested, I’d pretend to enjoy experiences I didn’t; became who I thought whatever guy wanted me to be, and kept my mouth shut when I vehemently disagreed with something Read More
45 Things to Ask Before You Get Married.
A marriage therapist’s questions for finding lasting love. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. (Note: If you don’t want to miss Doctor Becky’s blog posts, follow her on the Medium platform and request email notifications.) Whether to get married or not is one of life’s biggest decisions, and in my opinion fewer people should do it. Why? Read More