If you are here, chances are …
Dr. Becky Whetstone, MFT, created Marriage Crisis Management and wrote the book, I (Think) I Want Out, What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage. She has over 20 years of experience working with couples in crisis. She teaches and helps couples nationally and worldwide via telehealth.
- One of you has mentioned divorce.
- You’re considering separation.
- You’ve been unhappy for a long time.
- You’re afraid of making the wrong decision.
- Traditional marriage therapy hasn’t helped.
- Friends and family are giving conflicting advice.
- You feel stuck, overwhelmed, or exhausted.
- You feel overwhelmed.
- You need a thoughtful process.
- You don’t need more opinions from the friend-and-family choir.
- You don’t know what to do, but you need to do something.
We have dedicated ourselves to helping individuals and couples like you for over 20 years.
Marriage crisis fact:
When one spouse wants out, emotions run high, and decisions made in fear, anger, or exhaustion can have lifelong, undesired consequences.
The smartest thing you can do is slow things down.
Get clarity before making a decision you can’t easily undo.
Solid, research-based information is King.
Then get the most experienced help you can find who understands what’s going on and what to do about it.
Why do people often Make Poor Decisions when faced with whether to separate or Divorce?
When a marriage crisis occurs, the nervous system shifts into survival mode – and each spouse’s sympathetic nervous system fires, and their body’s fight-flight-freeze/fawn/fix kicks in. The person thinking of leaving wants to run, and the person getting left wants to run after them. This never works in a marriage crisis and always makes things worse.
When the nervous system fires, people become reactive.
They act on impulse and not reason.
They stop listening because they are unable to retain information when the sympathetic nervous system is activated.
They focus on immediate relief rather than long-term consequences.
Many people rush into decisions that affect:
- children
- finances
- extended family
- future relationships
- their own emotional well-being
The goal is not to convince you to stay married.
The goal is not to convince you to divorce.
The goal is to help you make the best decision possible for your situation. The stakes are high in a marriage crisis, and we take you and your family’s well-being seriously.
sly.
Three possible paths forward
Path One: Repair – The marriage may be repairable if both people are willing to engage in meaningful change.
Path Two: Managed Separation – sometimes couples need structure, space, and time before deciding whether to reconcile or divorce.
Path Three: Amicable Divorce – When reconciliation is not possible, a thoughtful divorce process can reduce damage and create a healthier future.
The Smart Next Step …
Marriage Crisis Consultation – the gateway to marriage crisis assistance.
During your consultation, we will:
- Assess your situation.
- Identify key relationship dynamics
- Explore realistic options.
- Determine the best next step.
At the end of the consultation, Becky may recommend:
- Intense all-in marriage therapy – Definitely NOT what you’re used to.
- Marriage Crisis Management – Working to stabilize the relationship before deciding a path forward.
- Managed separation – The only way to separate.
- Radically positive Amicable Divorce & Co-Parenting Program
- Other resources.
Before you decide on Separation or divorce, Get Clarity
The decisions you make now may affect the rest of your life.
Don’t navigate this alone, or with people who have no knowledge of the complicated dynamics at hand.