A focused intervention when your marriage is on the brink.
Your Marriage is in Crisis. In 90 minutes, you’ll Know Exactly What to do.
One of you wants out. The other is in a panic. I’ve spent nearly 30 years working with couples in this same situation, and I can tell you what’s really happening in your marriage, what stage of deterioration it’s in, and what to do next — before you make a decision you can’t take back.
The Situation You’re In.
Nobody plans for this moment. But here you are.
Maybe your spouse just said the words that stopped your heart: “I think I want out.” Maybe you’re the one who said them. Maybe nobody has said anything yet, and the silence in your house is doing all the talking.
Here is what I know after over two decades of doing this work: what you do in the next few weeks matters more than anything you’ve done in the last few years. Couples in crisis make their worst decisions when they’re flooded with fear. They beg. They chase. They lawyer up. They give ultimatums. And every one of those moves makes things worse.
You don’t need to panic. You need a plan. That’s what I do.
What the consultation is.
The Marriage Crisis Consultation is a single 90-minute session with me — not an intake appointment, not a meet-and-greet, not the first of endless weekly sessions. It is a working session, and we get straight to it.
You can come alone or as a couple. Either way, by the end, you will have three things:
- A diagnosis of your marriage. I’ll tell you which of the five stages of marriage deterioration you’re in — Disillusionment, Erosion, Detachment, The Straw, or Death of the Marriage — and what that stage means for what’s possible.
- The truth, straight. I’ll tell you what I see, even when it’s hard to hear. Especially when it’s hard to hear. You’ve had enough confusion. What you need now is clarity.
- A plan for what to do next. Concrete next steps for your specific situation — what to do, what to stop doing immediately, and what your realistic options are from here.
Some couples need only this one session. Others go on to work with me in a two-month or longer intensive program or into a managed separation program. I’ll tell you honestly which intervention would be best for your situation, if any.
When a marriage is in crisis, waiting without solid help often makes things worse.
A marriage crisis consultation is designed to help you understand what’s happening and assist you in deciding what to do next.
If you’re ready for experienced guidance during this difficult moment, schedule a consultation below.
After the consultation, if this approach isn’t the right fit, Becky will recommend another qualified professional.
Who this is for …
- Your spouse has told you they want out, and you’re desperate to know if the marriage can be saved.
- You’re the one thinking about leaving, and you want to be sure before you blow up your life.
- You’ve separated, or separation is on the table, and neither of you knows how to do it without destroying each other.
- You’ve tried marriage counseling, and it went nowhere, because weekly counseling is not built for major relational overhauls and marriages on fire.
This is not for you if you want someone to nod along and tell you what you want to hear. I’m a marriage crisis manager. I will be respectful and tell you the truth.
This is not a growth phase.
It is a crisis phase, and knowledge is power.
Traditional Couples Therapy Is Not What You Need Right Now.
You need a specialist in crisis management for marriages.
A message from Becky Whetstone, PhD
The Marriage Crisis Manager
Dear Friend,
If you are in a marriage crisis, I want you to know about my experience, so you can rest assured that during this important time in your life, you are in good hands. I take working with individuals and couples experiencing a marriage crisis seriously. It’s a frightening situation, and the stakes are high.
Many clients come to me after:
- Years of dysfunction, frustration, and unhappiness
- Failed therapy attempts
- Escalating conflict or emotional shutdown
- Feeling stuck and not knowing what to do.
My initial role is to help you think clearly in a moment of emotional overload.
When your marriage and family are on the line, it’s important to know your relationship consultant’s credentials and experience in the unique niche of marriage crisis management. I am a licensed marriage & family therapist with 20+ years of experience working with individuals and couples in a marriage crisis as a life coach, enabling me to work with couples worldwide. I wrote my dissertation on the subject, studied the research, and understand what’s happening and know which steps couples need to take that are best for their individual situations. Because marriage crises require a different structure and skill set than traditional therapy provides, I developed a specialized approach to this work. In 2025, my book I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants Out was published by HCI Books, explaining almost every aspect of a marriage crisis and offering guidance on what to consider. I teach marriage therapists worldwide how to do this work.
Helping couples in crisis is an art and a science. I see it as a short-term intervention designed to stabilize couples and prepare them for what comes next, whether it is marriage therapy, reconciliation, separation, amicable divorce, or other options. My goal is to help families find the best, healthy options and make well-thought-out decisions they won’t regret. Then, to implement the decisions in a way that lasts.
Marriage Crisis Management is not marriage therapy. It is a specialized process designed for marriages on the brink. I typically do not charge an hourly fee; my fees are based on the process we are undertaking, which is unique and unlike other therapy models. The first step in this process is to slow things down and stabilize so we can create space for rational decisions. We help couples during one of life’s most difficult experiences and provide the resources and knowledge they will need to make the best decision for their family.
The marriage crisis consultation is a 90-minute, specialized conversation designed to help you understand what’s going on and to stabilize. You will tell your story, get to know me, and I will tell you what I recommend for you at the end of the session. After the consultation, if we are a good fit and I believe this approach is appropriate for you, I may invite you to continue in a Marriage Crisis Management Program. Otherwise, I will refer you to another qualified professional. If I can find one in your area.
I hope that the information I provide here is helpful, and if you schedule a consultation, I’ll do all I can to help you.
Warmly,
Becky Whetstone, PhD
The Marriage Crisis Manager
THE DETAILS
- Length: 90 minutes, on Zoom, from anywhere.
- Who attends: You alone, or you and your spouse together. Both work.
- Investment: $495 paid at the time of booking.
- Scheduling: Book directly on my calendar. Most people get in within days, not weeks.
BOOK YOUR 90-MINUTE CONSULTATION
- Identify the core dynamics driving the crisis.
- Clarify immediate risks and next steps.
- Determine whether further work together makes sense.
You will leave with:
- Greater emotional steadiness.
- A clearer understanding of your situation.
- A realistic set of options.
After the initial consultation, Becky will either invite you to join her marriage crisis management program based on your individual situation or refer you to a different therapist. Either way, you will get qualified, experienced, knowledgeable help.
To be successful, we need two reasonable people.
Questions People Ask Me
People heading toward, or who are in, a marriage crisis usually have tons of questions. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about what we do.
Make a Marriage Crisis Consultation appointment today.
Don’t do this alone.
Every week you wait, the crisis hardens, the conversations grow colder, the positions grow more entrenched, the options narrow. I have watched it happen a thousand times.
Ninety minutes. Gain knowledge, understanding, the truth, and a potential plan.