Recently, I was traumatized by former President Donald Trump, and it wasn’t the first time. My son, Marine LCpl Benjamin Whetstone Schmidt, a proud scout sniper, was killed in Afghanistan on October 6, 2011, almost 12 years ago, becoming a war hero and breaking our hearts. Benjamin’s family members are now part of a group no one wants to be in — Gold Star Families. During World War I, families of fallen war heroes began wearing black armbands with a gold star on them, hanging banners and flags with a gold star in their windows and yards, and ever since, family members of fallen heroes have been referred to as a Gold Star Family.
Family issues
Why is it So Hard to Divorce Your Toxic Biological Family?
“Toxic relationships bring out the worst in you.” — Anonymous Families fighting one another happens every day, in every corner of the world … celebrities, royal families, billionaires, people like you and me — no one is immune. In my experience as a family therapist, it’s one of the most common emotional and mental health Read More
Hey Adults — Slip This Under your Intrusive Parent’s Door and See What Happens Next.
Boundary-less parents is a universal problem, and it has adult children steaming. Hey Adults — Slip This Under your Intrusive Parent’s Door and See What Happens Next. Yes, parents, there are rules you should follow if you want your adult kids to visit. One of the most talked about subjects in my therapy room involves complaints about older adults Read More
Your family is nuts and you still visit for the holidays?
How to manage obnoxious, unkind, unfair and disrespectful kin. As the season for family get togethers approaches, numerous clients reach out to their therapists for an inoculation of protection, meant to shield them from the verbal and emotional land mines they will encounter when stepping into their extended family zones. A therapist can assure a Read More
Stepping stress-free through life, and the holidays, with step kids
Impudent step daughter, unreachable video gaming step son, and your spouse’s ex who doesn’t help the situation at all. No one told you how hard step parenting would be, but they should have. I always tell my clients considering marriage to a person who already has kids, it’s going to take a huge heart and Read More
Avoiding in law disaster – Navigating the holidays in your family’s territory.
One thing young American couples have in common is that in the first years of their marriage, they usually continue past Christmas traditions with each other’s families, often going back and forth from year-to-year or in one day if they live nearby, as the young bride and groom have not yet stepped into the stage Read More
Holiday wars damage Marriage Town
Holidays are difficult for families because of all the things we plan and how they clash with what other people want and plan. Then, show up to family events and throw in the personalities of people who have no filter with the people that do, and you have holiday wars. For the people who want Read More
The Holidays and Relationships …
There’s always a little bit of “this” in every holiday season! The Holidays and Relationships … by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Well, the holidays are here again and finances, family, food, rituals and raking leaves are on the mind. Some of these things are comforting and wonderful, and other things are — uh — not. Since I’ve been around a long time, Read More
Family Relations in a Digital World
Family Relations in a Digital World Recently a couple who’ve been together four years and are now separated came in for an assessment, and the girlfriend had her arms crossed and was glaring at him out the corner of her eye. ”I’ll be thinking everything is wonderful in our relationship, and then he’ll send me a Read More