Why Are Some People So Damn Sensitive?
Dysregulation: Behaviors that Create Misery for Everyone.
Dysregulation: Behaviors that Create Misery for Everyone.
Right now, your spouse could be sitting next to you on the couch, planning to divorce you. She may be planning to do it in the fall, after the holidays, or in a couple of years. I know this because I have spoken with hundreds and hundreds of people in that mindset, and I have been in that mindset myself.
Enforce Consequences — Every Time
This is the step people avoid — and the one bullies understand.
Consequences may include disengagement, documentation, formal complaints, legal action, blocking, or ending contact altogether.
No debates. No over-explaining. No repeated chances.
Boundaries without consequences are suggestions.
Bullies stop when the cost of continuing exceeds the reward. Your job is not to change them. Your job is to protect yourself.
Bullying is abuse. It damages nervous systems, self-esteem, and trust. If you are affected by it, you are not weak. And you are not required to tolerate it.
Silence protects bullies.
Boundaries expose them.
Wake up to the Effects of Trauma or Have Terrible Relationships. “We are spiritual beings having a human experience,” Pia Mellody Before…
There will be pain and suffering if you divorce, and it will have a ripple effect on your family, friends, and other areas of your life. Still, there are ways to decrease stress and trauma.
How Expectations & Lack of Boundaries Screw up Relationships. “You cannot have expectations of others without their agreement.” — A Marriage and Family…
Some things in life are unspoken rules. I don’t know if people tell us not to do these things or if our common sense does. One of the rules is not to date your best friend’s ex unless you have spoken with them about it and gotten their blessing, or any close friend, for that matter. Others are don’t cut in line, don’t stand too close, don’t talk about your bodily functions, don’t talk about your life miseries and ailments on a first date, let people exit before you enter, don’t touch other people’s things, leave things as you found them, and on and on. We do these things because we are 8 billion people on one planet, and we have to all get along. Considering other people’s feelings and sensibilities before acting is a good and excellent thing and the best way for you to get along in this world, too.
Adult Children Set The Rules for How They Live. Adult children often ask me to coach them on how to deal with parents…
Recently, I was traumatized by former President Donald Trump, and it wasn’t the first time. My son, Marine LCpl Benjamin Whetstone Schmidt, a proud scout sniper, was killed in Afghanistan on October 6, 2011, almost 12 years ago, becoming a war hero and breaking our hearts. Benjamin’s family members are now part of a group no one wants to be in — Gold Star Families. During World War I, families of fallen war heroes began wearing black armbands with a gold star on them, hanging banners and flags with a gold star in their windows and yards, and ever since, family members of fallen heroes have been referred to as a Gold Star Family.
“Toxic relationships bring out the worst in you.” — Anonymous Families fighting one another happens every day, in every corner of the…
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