Because of people like Disneylanders, life, at times, can be unnerving. Who is the real deal? Who can you really count on? Who is sincere and really means everything they say? It feels like a traffic jam of the mind to learn that some people pretend to enjoy your company — most of us prefer spending time with those who really do. Since Disneylanders hold their cards tightly to their chest, you can still spot them if you note their always pleasant demeanor, their resistance to hearing non-sugar-coated revelations, and their lack of reciprocity. They will never ever seek you out for any reason unless there is something in it for them. And there could always be something they want or need from you, so they’ll never burn the bridge.
personal growth
11 Best Ways to Date Smart and Find The One
Three stages of dating and tips for finding love. By Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. We know the world is full of unhappily married couples, but guess what — it’s also full of unhappily dating couples. That’s right — I’m talking about unmarried men and women in committed relationship who are hopelessly incompatible and remain together even Read More
27 Ridiculous Ways People Sabotage Their Relationships
How single people can stop self-sabotage and get what they want. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years I was a fool in relationships. If I was interested, I’d pretend to enjoy experiences I didn’t; became who I thought whatever guy wanted me to be, and kept my mouth shut when I vehemently disagreed with something Read More
What Control is, and How to Stop it.
How to take your life back from a control freak. Note: To never miss a Doctor Becky blog, go to https://medium.com/@doctorbecky and press follow. One day long ago, someone decided it was the right thing to tell another person what to do, and in that moment a precedent was set that would make millions of Read More
If You’re Thinking of Leaving Your Spouse, Read This ….
Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. You’ve been unhappy in your relationship for a long time. You can taste the idea of freedom, focusing on your own needs, a new start. How can you walk away and not cause much damage? You sit on the porch pondering what it would be like to leave after so many years Read More
If You Want to Keep your Relationship, Stop Doing These Three Things Now.
Adults have self-discipline and control themselves. If you want to have great relationships, you have to grow up. Doctor Becky shows you how.
What my Four Marriages Have Taught Me — by a Marriage Therapist.
Lessons a marriage therapist has learned from her three divorces and once successful marriage.
Stop Bitching and Tell People What You Need
When you figure out what is driving your mood, then ask yourself what you need. When I do the inquiry with myself, the thing I need is often something I can do for myself. For example, if I am exhausted, I may need to clear some space for rest. The important thing is, once you figure out what it is, create an action plan to take care of it. If it has to do with something that my partner is doing or not doing, I find a good time to talk with him, and then proceed with the questions (see below). This process is called self-care, and it’s the most important thing there is. It is the front door to mental and emotional health.
Five ways our Childhood Screws Us Up
This is a brief overview of what happens to us that keeps us from growing up and being able to live and relate as mature adults. People don’t magically grow up and start being functional and mature, it is a skill that must be learned and practiced, and a lot of people who start doing that will need to do some level of trauma work. It is an endeavor that is worthwhile and life-changing.
(Don’t Hate me For Saying) You Need to Give More to Your Relationship
“This one thinks being dependent or having needs is weak,” she said, as she pushed herself forward on the couch, pointing toward her husband. “Because of this, I’m not supposed to ask him for anything. Is this really true? It just doesn’t make sense to me. If that’s what it is, then what is marriage?” Read More