Donald Trump, King of the Dry Drunks.
And it Ain’t about the alcohol or lack thereof. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. LMFT, LPC In a world hungry for inside information…
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How to Complain to Your Partner Without Damaging Your Relationship.
People love to bitch, gripe, and complain, and most never learn how to do it in a way that can actually be heard. When I say heard, I mean delivered in a way that a partner can calmly and respectfully receive and respond to what is being said. It’s all in the timing, tone, and delivery of the message as to whether your words will be taken seriously and get the response you desire.
Surely all of us have experienced delivering a complaint in a way that got either zero response, an eyeroll, a laugh, repudiation, or a defensive diatribe that told us that getting anywhere with the person was not possible, at least in this moment. When people tell me they can’t communicate, this is what is happening, pure and simple.
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Career issues | Career relationships | childhood trauma | codependence | Counseling & Resources | Growing, healing, trusting | Mental Health | relationships | self advocacy | Self care | Uncategorized
Is the Landmark Forum a Cult or one of the Greatest Personal Growth Seminars on the Planet?
It is with some trepidation that I reveal the third most significant influence in helping me grow and evolve: The Landmark Forum, a three-day intensive seminar dedicated to personal growth that was developed in the 1990s. I hesitate, because it catapulted me to a different level in terms of courage, self-confidence, and finding my purpose, but it has a negative aspect to it as well – high-pressure sales tactics that give it a well-deserved sleazy reputation, and that leads critics to wonder if it is a cult.
It is not a cult, and I highly recommend it for those who are curious, resilient, self-reflective, and ready for bold changes. I tell everyone I talk to about it that you must approach it with the attitude of accepting the gift it offers, while not succumbing to the pressure and sometimes unreasonable requests it makes of participants. I’ll explain more a little later.
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marriage | Marriage & Marriage Crisis | Marriage Management | Relationship management | relationships
If You’re Afraid of Marriage Therapy, Read This First.
We Work For Your Marriage, Not Against Individuals. Some people refuse to go to marriage therapy, and they have their reasons, most…
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It’s Time to Put Family Lawyers Out of Business.
You Don’t Need Them to Get a Divorce; There are Other Ways. For decades, I’ve watched family lawyers do the opposite of…
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Most People Have Terrible Communication Skills and Dislike Those Who Don’t.
Not telling people the truth about who you are and what you want and need is one of the interpersonal and communication skills people get wrong, and I’m sick of it.
Trying to communicate with one of these Titans of Allusion and Vagueness is frustrating, and asking them for information is like squeezing the juice out of a log. Do they need help with M? Do they want to do X, Y, or B? Would they like to go to K? How do they feel about Z? Do they want G or V? Whatever happened with that thing they said they would do? Whatever answer they give, if they give you one, it may be disingenuous fluff and/or a deflection designed to get the attention off of them.
Their non-answer answers are gauged not to disappoint or upset, to avoid negative judgment and scrutiny, and to keep their actual views hidden, especially if they think you won’t like the answer. They are incapable of a healthy relationship and can only be surface friends with most and are deeply known or close friends with virtually no one — they usually allow their true feelings to be known to one or two unlucky ones who see the depth of their disappointments and resentments.
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How Not to Screw Up Yourself, Others, and Your Children.
How Expectations & Lack of Boundaries Screw up Relationships. “You cannot have expectations of others without their agreement.” — A Marriage and Family…
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Dating, Remarriage, Blended Families | Divorce and post-divorce | Marriage & Marriage Crisis | relationships | Single life | The Decision to Divorce
The Divorce Stories We Tell Are Based in Fiction.
People will tell their stories however they will; we can do nothing about it. There is no need to defend, beg them not to, or go around trying to correct their verbal messes. Stop trying to create a perfect world where all injustices are solved, and everything is wrapped up in a bow. The only sane approach is to leave it alone, live your own life, and let it pass. Everyone but a Buddhist monk loves the drama of short and nasty divorce stories; it’s human nature, but the good news is that people who hear them will think about it for maybe fifteen seconds and never again. It simply is not the big deal you may think it is when someone speaks about you being a shrew or bastard from hell.
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Why You Don’t Like Your Therapist: No one is the same.
herapists and counselors have a variety of styles and training, and how we are trained influences us and how we do our jobs. A psychologist, social worker, mental health counselor, pastoral counselor, Christian counselor, and marriage and family therapist all work from different philosophies and schools of thought. They can be as different as night and day. Many people assume I am a psychologist, for example, but I am as far from that as one can get and would not want to be one. I am a marriage and family therapist (MFT). The MFT thinks systemically about the whole family and each member’s influence on everyone else. We are specialists and the only mental health professionals trained to treat children, individuals, couples, and families; a psychologist usually tests people and writes psych evaluations, and if they do clinical psychologist work, they see one person at a time. The psychology training is generally steeped in older, more conservative theories like psychoanalysis, behavioral therapy, and Aaron Beck’s cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Four Types of Cheaters, All Lie, Here’s What to Do.
No Matter How Bad Your Spouse Is, There’s No Excuse. If I could take one painful marital scenario away from the planet,…
