“You do not have to navigate separation or divorce blindly, reactively, or destructively.” Dr. Becky Whetstone
Features of the Managed Separation Plan™
- Therapeutic framework
- Intentional timeline.
- Reduces panic and chaos
- Creates boundaries
- Lowers nervous system activation
- prevents impulsive divorce decisions
- gives the relationship breathing room.
- Helps you avoid needless mistakes
- Everything regarding children included – potential custody calendar options, how to tell them, things to keep in mind, and more.
- A couple may share one agreement.
- Includes a Kindle copy of Dr Becky Whetstone’s book, I Think I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage. (To be sent separately, post-purchase.
- Includes a reflections workbook.
- Includes a custody calendar.
Cost: $297
Documents that Help Couples Handle Their Marriage Crisis in the Healthiest Ways.
Managed Separation Plan™
Great Information for Do-It-Yourselfers
(Even if you plan to do it alone, for optimal results, we still strongly recommend you do it in conjunction with marriage therapist oversight and management)
We have created documents that help couples who are working with me, and those who use my work, but I never meet. Early in my marriage crisis work, I realized there was a need for a separation agreement that actually included therapeutic ideas and strategies that might propel a couple to gain motivation to change. Separating couples tend to get stuck without professional guidance, and my plan is meant to avoid that.
As I researched separation agreements and documents online, I was mortified not only at the serious, scary, and unnecessary legal language but also at the lack of helpfulness, detailed descriptions, and consideration for the family as a whole. These documents absolutely ignore the stress and fear involved in a marriage crisis, and not to address and offer solutions for a family in these situations is a travesty.
“Why hasn’t a marriage therapist designed a separation plan?” I wondered. “We actually care about the family’s wellbeing and healthy outcomes.”
Since what I needed for my couples in crisis didn’t exist, I created a document in about 2008 that guides couples through separation in a forward-moving way that leads to the best decision for the family as a whole. It takes into consideration all the things the research and my experience say increase the likelihood of reconciliation.
It addresses mental and emotional health, and persuades couples that this is their moment to either change or not. Or as I prefer to say, become emotionally healthy, or not. Without change, a separation almost always leads to divorce or a disastrous and unhappy reconciliation.
The document has helped thousands of couples since then, and I have updated and continued to tweak it and add more valuable information and resources to it over the years. If you are thinking of separating, or are already separated and see it going nowhere, do the following:
Buy the Document that Fits Your Need
We offer documents for separations that hopefully lead to reconciliation, amicable divorce, and co-parenting plans, divorce planners, and more.
Buy my Book For More Details and Understanding.
I wrote the book, I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage, because there was a need for it, and nothing like it was available. It is more than a marriage crisis book. Don’t skip this. (A Kindle version will be sent to you at no charge if you purchase the Managed Separation Agreement Plan or Radically Positive Amicable Divorce and Co-parenting Plan.)
Slow Down.
Divorce is not an emergency. In most cases, several people’s futures are at stake. Make sure you are taking your time and following the great advice available. When in doubt, contact Becky for a Marriage Crisis Consultation.
Radically Positive Amicable Divorce & Co-parenting Plan™
A Therapist-Guided Framework for Ending a Marriage Without Destroying the Family.
When couples I work with decide to divorce, they almost always say they want it to be amicable. Next, they hired family attorneys, and the idea of an amicable divorce went out the window. After speaking with numerous people about this, I realized they wanted an amicable divorce but didn’t know how to achieve one. Family lawyers have programmed us all that hiring them is necessary to end a marriage, when it is not. In fact, in my personal and professional experience, family lawyers are almost always the instigators and enablers of nasty divorces, and the main reasons co-parenting relationships plummet following a divorce. This has to end.
So how does a couple divorce without hiring family lawyers and needlessly spending a fortune for them to abuse and tear up your family system?
I devised a plan that begins with working out most of your issues with a marriage and family therapist who cares about family outcomes. Taking each step one small bite at a time to help the family system adjust to major changes, and when it comes time to draw up and implement a divorce agreement, collaborative lawyers are hired, and a couple goes to mediation to work out what cannot be agreed upon with the therapist. Once everything is agreed, the divorce decree will be issued,3 a judge will likely sign it, and you will be divorced. In this model, there is no family lawyer-created acrimony.
Even if your divorce is amicable, don’t think it means it will be pain-free. There will be difficult moments, but a therapist will coach you through them. I haven’t found anything else that comes close to preparing a family for a cordial and functional co-parenting relationship moving forward.
Consider:
What the Radically Positive Amicable Divorce & Co-parenting Plan™ Includes:
Anything I write is made simple to understand and utilize. Everything I write for couples in crisis is family-focused and leads to positive outcomes for families. I have devoted my career to finding a way to have kinder, gentler partings. There probably isn’t such a thing as a seamless parting – there will be feelings of loss and emotional heartache – but we can still have those feelings and not turn them to family-destructive actions. I recommend you use this agreement with a marriage & family therapist, so they can help you go over property, custody, and co-parenting issues as a mediator, as you discuss how to divorce. I really don’t recommend doing this alone. Dr. Becky Whetstone.
This document includes:
- An 82-page overview of what to expect in the divorce process.
- A division of property ‘living’ Excel spreadsheet you share and use in real time to keep track of propoerty division and negotiate.
- Included Kindle version of my book (sent separately after purchase).
- Other recommended books and reading information.
- Discussion of pros and cons of various custody options, including what percentage of time each parent gets with the children.
- Holiday, birthdays, and special days custody plan.
- Rules of thumb for keeping the co-parenting relationship healthy.
- Child-related expense agreement – explanation of child support and what it is for, and a list of common child-related expenses where each parent can negotiate who pays for what.
- Material goods division planner.
- Discussing who keeps the home base location.
- Bank accounts and investments.
- What to do in the case of disagreements.
- Child-raising consistency plan.
- Co-parenting plan (fillable)
- List of resources.
We wanted an amicable divorce and had no idea how to go about it. We have threee children, and we felt we had to do right by them. Looking around for information we found Dr. Becky Whetstone. Not only is she a marriage and fmaily therapist with a doctorate in that field, but she has worked with couples like us for a long time and has seen thousands of clients. She really kept us on the road to parting in the healthiest and most respectful way. We highly recommend her work. M & N Portland, OR
Family Therapist Created document has now been expanded to 82 pages!
Ignore the bubble in that graphic. We have an all-new, more detailed document.
Cost: $369
This document includes
“Don’t do Separation or Divorce on Your Own. We have great information and education to help you through it in the healthiest possible way for your family. Use these documents alongside your therapist.”
— Becky Whetstone, PhD, LMFT
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Don’t go through a marriage crisis alone, don’t call family lawyers when you want a divorce, and don’t begin your co-parent experience without professional guidance, a rhyme, and a reason. Without experienced guidance, you are likely to make mistakes you may regret. Schedule an appointment for more information and insight about your individual situation.