Those who are strong in crisis win in the end. Are you healthy enough to be strong and resilient when life gives you a hard time or when terrible things happen and you get knocked on your ass? Can you return to calmness after the initial shock, console yourself in despair during personal attacks or emotional injury, and control what you say and do?
Like a moth to a flame, people who pay good money to learn about personal growth and get solid, well-grounded advice about their relationships will often ignore what they’re told and head straight into the fire of self sabotage, come what may. I get to watch this dynamic week and week out as I consult with people whose marriages are either hanging by a thread or in the beginning stages of an amicable divorce, which often will end up not being amicable once their parting spouse finds out what they’re up to. This is why it is sometimes painful to be me.
Taylor Swift’s Song About Dying Relationships is Right On. It doesn’t always take something monumental to jeopardize a marriage; many a long-term…
Learn the stages of a dying marriage before it’s too late. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Marriages die in predictable stages and have…
Two-month plan and support options for troubled marriages. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years, I have noticed a need for professional help and support…
I am an advocate for the end of the nasty divorce. Especially when there are children involved. To me, it is one of the most ridiculous, wasteful, idiotic ways to end an unhappy marriage. It must stop, but I need you to help. In my plan for an amicable divorce, the marriage and family therapist plays the largest role, adversarial lawyers play no role, and collaborative lawyers play a less significant role. I have realized that people can’t or won’t go the amicable route without professional support. They need help and coaching along the way. I see it as cradling them through the process as they adjust to a new life as a single parent and find healthy ways to navigate that and all of the negative emotions they will undoubtedly encounter.
There are things one should never tell their miserably unhappy spouse. For example, if you want to infuriate a person, one of the best ways is to tell them that their concerns or emotions aren’t justified. I have breaking news for the world: feelings are organic and can’t be ordered on Amazon or concocted on demand. I can’t decide to be angry; it just happens. Feelings are how our soul speaks to us. Whatever feeling we have is actually a tap on our shoulder by our soul telling us, “Look at this and see what’s going on.”
Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. You’ve been unhappy in your relationship for a long time. You can taste the idea of freedom, focusing on…
Mike refused to speak to his wife Laura for weeks at a time, and by the time she dragged him to my…
When a spouse pleads with their mate to go to marriage counseling, you can bet they’re frustrated – trust me, people don’t…
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