Like a moth to a flame, people who pay good money to learn about personal growth and get solid, well-grounded advice about their relationships will often ignore what they’re told and head straight into the fire of self sabotage, come what may. I get to watch this dynamic week and week out as I consult with people whose marriages are either hanging by a thread or in the beginning stages of an amicable divorce, which often will end up not being amicable once their parting spouse finds out what they’re up to. This is why it is sometimes painful to be me.