Millennial Woman’s Reason for Not Inviting Single Friend on Vacation Backed
A woman’s decision not to invite her single mom friend on a vacation has sparked a heated discussion online.
In a Reddit post, the 30-year-old woman explained her situation with her close friend, Sarah, who has been struggling after separating from her husband. The poster (u/azor__ahai) and her other friend, Lina, decided to go on a vacation together—just the two of them—but when Sarah found out, she became upset. Since the post was published, it has received 4,700 upvotes.
“When Sarah found out, she got very upset and told us that she had expected us to include her and her kids, since we are her closest friends, and she doesn’t have many people to travel with,” the Redditor wrote in the post. “She also said that because she’s in a difficult situation, she thought this was something we would do for her as her friends.”
The woman offered to take Sarah and her children on a shorter trip, but Sarah rejected that suggestion in favor of a full week at the beach. Sarah then claimed she would have included the woman if the roles were reversed. The tension reached a breaking point, ultimately, when Sarah threatened that the friendship might not survive if the women didn’t change their plans.
Ultimately, the woman couldn’t shake the feeling that it was not her responsibility to ensure Sarah had someone to travel with, especially when their trip was meant to be a break from such responsibilities—and Reddit agreed.
“I don’t understand how this woman thinks friendship works. Was she expecting you to babysit? Are you not allowed to have other friends? This [is] confusing,” one person wrote.
Another added that the idea of child-free vacations and family vacations are “completely different beasts.”
“Tell her she’s very welcome to come, but it’s adults only, so she’d need to arrange childcare for the kids,” they suggested.
An Expert Opinion
Dr. Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist and author of I (Think) I Want Out: What To Do When One of You Wants To End Your Marriage, said that it was unreasonable for Sarah to expect her friends to change their vacation plans without their agreement.
“Adults have free will and can do as they please, and other adults should honor this,” Whetstone told Newsweek. “A person cannot have expectations of another without their agreement. The single mom has all kinds of expectations and has set herself up to suffer when others don’t play along.”
She pointed out that if Sarah did end the friendship over this, it might be a sign of deeper issues.
“If she is reconsidering the relationship over this, then we can add controlling to her list of dysfunctional behaviors,” Whetstone added. “Basically, she is telling the OP here, ‘My way or the highway.'”
Whetstone offered a final piece of advice: “It would have been best if the friends had given the mom a heads up about what they were doing and why,” she said, but ultimately, “the single mom needs to grow up. Her friends have the right to do as they choose.”
