When you figure out what is driving your mood, then ask yourself what you need. When I do the inquiry with myself, the thing I need is often something I can do for myself. For example, if I am exhausted, I may need to clear some space for rest. The important thing is, once you figure out what it is, create an action plan to take care of it. If it has to do with something that my partner is doing or not doing, I find a good time to talk with him, and then proceed with the questions (see below). This process is called self-care, and it’s the most important thing there is. It is the front door to mental and emotional health.
Five ways our Childhood Screws Us Up
This is a brief overview of what happens to us that keeps us from growing up and being able to live and relate as mature adults. People don’t magically grow up and start being functional and mature, it is a skill that must be learned and practiced, and a lot of people who start doing that will need to do some level of trauma work. It is an endeavor that is worthwhile and life-changing.
Fear of losing the guy syndrome: Should I have sex if I am really not ready to?
In a budding relationship, women set the boundaries on what will and will not take place. Fear of losing the guy syndrome: Should I have sex if I am really not ready to? by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. A blog reader recently sent me this: “I read about your Rules for Romantic Self-Protection advice on your web site’s Read More
It may be your fault that your life and relationships aren’t working.
It may be your fault that your life and relationships aren’t working. If your life isn’t working it is probably bet to look in the mirror rather than blame others. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Although we all do our best to live in a world of equality and hearing both sides of a story before making a Read More
I know why Congress is the most dysfunctional family in the USA — I was there.
I know why Congress is the most dysfunctional family in the USA — I was there. Before I married a man who would become a Democratic United States Congressman in 1998, (from Texas’s 20th Congressional District), I only knew what I’d learned in eighth grade civics class about the United States House of Representatives. When we got to Read More
What’s reasonable to ask of your spouse? Sometimes a therapist must be the judge.
sometimes couples lock horns over issues and a therapist must choose what’s right.
Why you shouldn’t marry more than once.
Why you shouldn’t marry more than once. Think twice before marrying twice. The divorce rate for second marriages is estimated to be around 65 percent — significantly higher than that of first marriages. There are numerous reasons why second-timers have a harder time, such as personal baggage carried in from other relationships, whether to have a pre-nuptial agreement, how Read More
The Holidays and Relationships …
There’s always a little bit of “this” in every holiday season! The Holidays and Relationships … by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Well, the holidays are here again and finances, family, food, rituals and raking leaves are on the mind. Some of these things are comforting and wonderful, and other things are — uh — not. Since I’ve been around a long time, Read More
Family Relations in a Digital World
Family Relations in a Digital World Recently a couple who’ve been together four years and are now separated came in for an assessment, and the girlfriend had her arms crossed and was glaring at him out the corner of her eye. ”I’ll be thinking everything is wonderful in our relationship, and then he’ll send me a Read More
Power struggles: What to do if one spouse is more successful than the other.
Power struggles: What to do if one spouse is more successful than the other. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Pinterest Put two people in a room and they’re going to compare themselves to one another other — that’s what humans do. The same is true of two people who are married, each Read More