Most People Have Terrible Communication Skills and Dislike Those Who Don’t.
|

Most People Have Terrible Communication Skills and Dislike Those Who Don’t.

Not telling people the truth about who you are and what you want and need is one of the interpersonal and communication skills people get wrong, and I’m sick of it.

Trying to communicate with one of these Titans of Allusion and Vagueness is frustrating, and asking them for information is like squeezing the juice out of a log. Do they need help with M? Do they want to do X, Y, or B? Would they like to go to K? How do they feel about Z? Do they want G or V? Whatever happened with that thing they said they would do? Whatever answer they give, if they give you one, it may be disingenuous fluff and/or a deflection designed to get the attention off of them.

Their non-answer answers are gauged not to disappoint or upset, to avoid negative judgment and scrutiny, and to keep their actual views hidden, especially if they think you won’t like the answer. They are incapable of a healthy relationship and can only be surface friends with most and are deeply known or close friends with virtually no one — they usually allow their true feelings to be known to one or two unlucky ones who see the depth of their disappointments and resentments.

Why You Don’t Like Your Therapist: No one is the same.

Why You Don’t Like Your Therapist: No one is the same.

herapists and counselors have a variety of styles and training, and how we are trained influences us and how we do our jobs. A psychologist, social worker, mental health counselor, pastoral counselor, Christian counselor, and marriage and family therapist all work from different philosophies and schools of thought. They can be as different as night and day. Many people assume I am a psychologist, for example, but I am as far from that as one can get and would not want to be one. I am a marriage and family therapist (MFT). The MFT thinks systemically about the whole family and each member’s influence on everyone else. We are specialists and the only mental health professionals trained to treat children, individuals, couples, and families; a psychologist usually tests people and writes psych evaluations, and if they do clinical psychologist work, they see one person at a time. The psychology training is generally steeped in older, more conservative theories like psychoanalysis, behavioral therapy, and Aaron Beck’s cognitive behavioral therapy.