Not telling people the truth about who you are and what you want and need is one of the interpersonal and communication skills people get wrong, and I’m sick of it.

Trying to communicate with one of these Titans of Allusion and Vagueness is frustrating, and asking them for information is like squeezing the juice out of a log. Do they need help with M? Do they want to do X, Y, or B? Would they like to go to K? How do they feel about Z? Do they want G or V? Whatever happened with that thing they said they would do? Whatever answer they give, if they give you one, it may be disingenuous fluff and/or a deflection designed to get the attention off of them.

Their non-answer answers are gauged not to disappoint or upset, to avoid negative judgment and scrutiny, and to keep their actual views hidden, especially if they think you won’t like the answer. They are incapable of a healthy relationship and can only be surface friends with most and are deeply known or close friends with virtually no one — they usually allow their true feelings to be known to one or two unlucky ones who see the depth of their disappointments and resentments.