It’s easy to screw kids up, and your parents probably did. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. If you’re struggling with living a life of contentment, and your intimate relationships haven’t been working very well, then I’d bet almost anything you have childhood developmental trauma. (CDT) In counseling, I’m able to show clients how what happened to Read More
self care
Too Many People Know Nothing About Healthy Relationships.
Self-esteem is step one for building strong relationships. You can be the most intelligent, successful, or prosperous person in the room, and I’ll bet you 25 cents you know very little about how to have a healthy relationship with yourself or anyone else. How do I know? I have worked with thousands of men and Read More
Why the Words Selfish and Selfless Need to Removed from the English Language.
The American culture has dysfunctional beliefs and values that affect and injure us all, and two that have especially limited people’s ability to thrive are the toxin-packed adjectives selfless and selfish. Our society perpetuates the idea that individuals of highest character are those who are selfless, doing absolutely nothing for themselves, and the lowest form, the selfish, because they do. Another word that can go away while we’re at it, is deserve.
Stop Bitching and Tell People What You Need
When you figure out what is driving your mood, then ask yourself what you need. When I do the inquiry with myself, the thing I need is often something I can do for myself. For example, if I am exhausted, I may need to clear some space for rest. The important thing is, once you figure out what it is, create an action plan to take care of it. If it has to do with something that my partner is doing or not doing, I find a good time to talk with him, and then proceed with the questions (see below). This process is called self-care, and it’s the most important thing there is. It is the front door to mental and emotional health.
Why getting dumped (when you’re single) is a good thing.
My office carpet has gotten wet many times with the tears of single men and women in the throes of intense pain felt from romantic rejection, usually asking, “What is wrong with me? Why didn’t they like me? What did I do wrong?” It always pains me to see good people blaming a break up Read More
Overlooked and ignored relationship issues are often the most important.
Note: Brittany Wong, editor of the Huffington Post divorce page asked me what are some commonly overlooked issues that affect relationships negatively, and I knew immediately what my answer would be. I sent her my comments for an article she is writing on the subject, but as usual I wrote an entire article myself … Read More