Age-related Changes, Decisions, and How to Thrive.
Aging your way and making age-related decisions for yourself by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Should people do all they can cosmetically and…
Aging your way and making age-related decisions for yourself by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Should people do all they can cosmetically and…
What a fickle audience Bachelor Nation can be. No sooner had American reality show fans embraced 72-year-old Gerry Turner as the breath of fresh air women needed to see on ABC’s hugely popular Golden Bachelor, which features older singles in the 60s to 70s range, they tore him down. Gerry’s stock dropped faster than Enron’s in 2001 after the season finale and a Nov 29 gotcha piece by Suzanne O’Malley and Barbara Lippert in the Hollywood Reporter, where they pointed out several discrepancies in the story Gerry told about himself during the show, and ABC’s producers had created about him. In addition, Golden Bachelor fans didn’t appreciate Gerry telling more than one woman he loved her, even though everyone knows the format is that he begins with 22 women, narrows the numbers down until he is left with two, and feelings often do develop. Heaven forbid, gracious and gentlemanly Gerry is an imperfect and flawed man. As a therapist and former newspaper reporter, I have a few things to say about Gerry, the Hollywood Reporter article, and how quickly Bachelor fans turned on the man.
Maybe I’m stating the obvious, but who you choose to spend your life with matters more than just about any decision a person could make. In my fantasies, I am the sole purveyor of marriage licenses, and no one can marry without my approval. Why do I want to control people’s choices? Most individuals who have married, left to their own free will, have done a disastrous job. So, what can we do to change that?
It’d be helpful if people put more than a little thought into it. When a person is 22 and focusing on hot guys, hot women, and those who can party down, the odds of the marital deal working out are slim to none. To me, the most important thing you can do is 1. Allow yourself to get past your 20s and get to know yourself and what matters to you. Who you are at 20 or 25 is not remotely who you will be at 35 or 45. 2. Focus on finding someone solid. This means they are healthy mentally and emotionally, free of addictions, do what they say they will do, are who they say they are, and you can count on them in all the different ways that matter. 3. Be able to tell yourself, “Man, this person enhances my life so much that I’d be a fool to let them go.”
The art of making blended family relationships work. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years, I have begged friends not to marry a…
Breakup tips for those who don’t do confrontation by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. “Many human beings will go out of their way to…
Although the story of Harvey Weinstein misusing his power and influence to sexually harass and abuse women is shocking to many, the…
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