Managed Separation Agreement and Plan for those Transitioning to Divorce

Description

This is a 45-page plan, plus an agreement, written by Becky that discusses the purpose and spirit of a Managed Separation (MS) and outlines the terms, rules, and guidelines of the MS.

Ethics of the Managed Separation Agreement

Becky has created the Managed Separation Agreement MSA to help people have a decisive separation plan designed to eliminate ongoing damage and destruction and to assist couples in having the healthiest possible plan to move forward and into the divorce process. The plan explains how to approach it, offers timelines and specific instructions for the allusive amicable divorce.

People purchasing the MSA are asked to abide by the following set of guidelines:

• One couple may share and copy one purchased agreement so that each may have a copy, but the agreement is not to be shared with others for their use.
• Therapists, life coaches, lawyers, relationship consultants, or any professionals must purchase their own agreement they may use moving forward in their practice, but must require each couple to purchase their own copy.
• Material in the MSA is copyrighted and may not be shared publicly or on websites, emailed, or shared in any way except with couples who purchase and share it with themselves unless they have received written permission from the office of Becky Whetstone, Ph.D.

From Becky: “I created the idea of the Managed Separation over 20 years ago for several reasons. When I separated in 1993, our therapist had told us to come back to him ‘if both of us wanted to work on the marriage.’ I really felt like we should have been talking to someone during that time and also had a plan and purpose to the separation that would help us make the right decision. I felt we needed some boundaries, guidelines that would help us heal and possible want to work things out. Instead, we had no guidance and winged it and made an absolute mess of everything. In the end, we were rushed through the divorce process, which caused numerous problems for each member of the family.

In later years I became a Marriage & Family Therapist, and practiced in a state (Texas) that does not have legal separation. I found that legal separation seemed like overkill and unnecessary for many of the couples I was working with, and they wanted me to help them separate without bringing lawyers into it, and with a therapeutic bent to it that would encourage intelligent, non-impulsive decision-making. So I set down and came up with the Managed Separation process.”

How can you best utilize the concept of Managed Separation? Couples starting a Managed Separation with Becky should download and review the Managed Separation document before their initial Managed Separation (MS) meeting. In Becky’s private practice, couples usually discuss the current state of their marriage during their first session with her. If a Managed Separation is recommended, the first MS meeting is then scheduled.