Wikipedia explains spirituality as: “almost any kind of meaningful activity, personal growth, or blissful activity,” so ask yourself, “As a balanced person, what things, other than relationships, do I do for myself that make me feel nourished, filled, satisfied?”
If you can’t think of anything, then we have a problem. Things that I personally do that nourish are to be out in nature, write, garden, create art and learn. I am truly inspired by nature’s beauty and certain types of art. When I’m doing those things, or looking at something inspiring, I am completely absorbed and not thinking about anything else. It is such an important part of my life that if I do not do many of theses things regularly, I will find my spirit getting low, even depressed. Every person needs to find whatever it is that brings them deep satisfaction – things that are not self-destructive or destructive to others, but add quality of life.
In your marriage crisis, one of your tasks will be to awaken the spirit part of yourself if you have not already done so. For you, it could be organized religion, on its own or in addition to other things. For others it is not religion at all. Whatever form it takes, it is such an important part of life that it had to be on this site, because it is crucial to bringing your best self to the relationship, and to how quickly you rebound in difficult times. All of us get knocked down in life, and it’s those who are spiritually balanced who are able to find positive meaning in their tragedies and disappointments and are able to rebound having learned the lessons that life always teaches us. In learning these lessons we deepen as individuals, become wise, and find more compassion for others who suffer during life’s downturns.
In marriage crisis there is always something you are supposed to be learning – do you know what that is for you? Years ago, I feel the universe was trying to drive home the importance of choosing healthy and compatible mates, and so long as I kept choosing the wrong men for misguided reasons, I suffered. After many years and many tears, I finally understood the message. It took 11 years of being single, of studying and doing my work, growing, and maturing. I dated, and was much more discerning in my choices. I refused to continue going out with men who could not, or would not, bring their best selves to the relationship, or who showed red flags or were not compatible. I finally reaped my reward in 2013 when I married someone who had qualities that I had never experienced – a solid, successful, kind, fun and gentle man, best friend, companion, and person who is emotionally available, responsive and generous. Because I had done my spiritual work, I was able to attract someone like him into my life. A man like this would never have been attracted to my more shallow self of decades ago.
We will be presenting more here on the important subject of spirituality. Stay tuned as the Marriage Crisis Manager web site grows and adds more fresh, helpful content to help you be the best person you can be!