Why should a couple separate, anyway? I’ve had couples come in wanting to separate who shouldn’t and couples who needed to separate who wouldn’t. My number one goal every time is to diagnose the marriage issues, stabilize whatever marriage crisis is going on, and decide if separation is appropriate in their situation. We also want to stop couples from doing even more damage to their marriages than already exists, which is likely to happen with two people who are emotionally freaking out and relying on what friends, family members, and non-therapist-endorsed Internet searches tell them to do. Separation is a big step. It is serious business, and if we decide to go that route, it will be done for the right reasons, in the right way, and it will be one of the hardest things a couple has ever done.
marriage crisis
Empathize today or lose your relationship tomorrow.
Just about every adult knows that the characteristic described as empathy is a desirable trait. Without it, interactions between two people become very problematic, as I see weekly in my marriage therapy practice, with at least 50 percent of the couples I work with, at some point, declaring, “(Insert partner’s name here) has NO empathy.” Read More
Power struggles: What to do if one spouse is more successful than the other.
Put two people in a room and they’re going to compare themselves to one another other – that’s what humans do. The same is true of two people who are married, each looks at the other and decides who’s the best, the strongest, smartest, nicest, who does the most – ugh – power struggles are Read More