Old friends are getting together again after 30 years; what a tale my friend told about her 35-year unhappy marriage and her decision not to divorce. Photo: Becky Whetstone. We’ve all heard of common-law marriage, a “legally recognized marriage between two people who have not purchased a marriage license or had their marriage solemnized Read More
Blog
You May Be To Blame If Your Relationships Are Toxic.
A relationship problem child says they’re never to blame. If your life and relationships aren’t working, looking in the mirror is probably best rather than blaming others. When it comes to couples and family therapy, a therapist works hard to be fair. Still, as I often say, marital or family problems are sometimes primarily due Read More
The Art and Science of Love and Mate Selection.
People are making a mess of their lives by choosing the wrong mate for them. Finding a great life partner is possible if we’re thoughtful, patient, and discerning. Photo: Canva/Becky Whetstone. If you ask me, the number one cause of divorce is choosing an incompatible mate. It pains me that humans don’t spend much Read More
Ways Passive Aggressive People and Pleasers Drive Us Nuts.
Mom and me, she was a world-class pleaser, and I am a recovered pleaser. I loved her dearly, but her pleaser behaviors drove me nuts. She died in 2020 at age 101, pleasing others to the end. Photo: Becky Whetstone One of the most difficult people to deal with is the passive-aggressive person. Of Read More
What a One-sided Relationship is and How to Fix It.
A one-sided relationship feels like you’re loving on a mannequin. It’s hard to wake them up and get them to be proactive in the relationship, but it is possible. Photo: Adobe Stock: Lightfield Studios. When you marry someone you wholeheartedly adore, a person you love doing things for and love with all your heart, who Read More
Why Your Relationship Will Never Be 50/50.
Equality diehards don’t do well in marriage and relationships. Stop expecting problems in the marriage to be seen as 50–50, and focus on your part in it. Quibbling over who is most right or wrong is a fool’s game. Graphic: Adobestock/Magann Are problems in marriage always 50 percent your fault and 50 percent your Read More
A Family Therapist’s Advice for the British Royals Drama.
The universe is screaming that it’s time for the British royal family to show a more authentic, compassion-filled side to the world or risk becoming an insignificant caricature of yourselves. Graphic: Canva/Becky Whetstone Few would argue that the British royal family is one of many dysfunctional families worldwide. What is a dysfunctional family? Let’s put Read More
Hey Guys, It’s Not About Leaving the Toilet Seat Up.
Almost every person who is a toilet user and has had a man around their home knows that the position he leaves the toilet lid or seat after a visit to the bathroom can quickly become an issue. Based on what my therapy clients say, most people would prefer to walk into the bathroom and Read More
The Downside of Being Emotionally Healthy.
Some people can’t deal with your growth and changes. Singer Ricky Nelson was booed when he didn’t sing his oldies at a concert, but he had moved on. Then he wrote his greatest hit of all time about the experience. You can do that, too/ Graphic: Canva/BeckyWhetstone Living, growing, and evolving to be the best Read More
Why People Who Say They Need Baby Steps Won’t Change.
Therapists are human; if they’re like me, they root for their clients. It’s sometimes painful to watch when they refuse to take action on the things that aren’t working in their lives. Graphic: Canva/Becky Whetstone Photo: Adobe Stock/Asier Maybe I’m going through an anger stage in my therapy career, but I’m sick and tired Read More