Let’s help each other improve our lives as individuals and in relationships. Our first talk will be about the upcoming New Year and whether it creates any motivation in you and why. Join us! I want to post this on the MCM site.Photo: Becky Whetstone Let’s talk!! Here’s your chance to get involved with a group Read More
Why We’re Screwed Up, and Yes, Childhood, and Parents Matter
It’s easy to screw kids up, and your parents probably did. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. If you’re struggling with living a life of contentment, and your intimate relationships haven’t been working very well, then I’d bet almost anything you have childhood developmental trauma. (CDT) In counseling, I’m able to show clients how what happened to Read More
Age-related Changes, Decisions, and How to Thrive.
Aging your way and making age-related decisions for yourself by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. Should people do all they can cosmetically and otherwise to feel and appear young? As we age, people face changes and will experience the benefits and costs of it all. We have choices, and there are different ways we can travel Read More
Fickle Golden Bachelor Fans Turn on Gerry Turner.
What a fickle audience Bachelor Nation can be. No sooner had American reality show fans embraced 72-year-old Gerry Turner as the breath of fresh air women needed to see on ABC’s hugely popular Golden Bachelor, which features older singles in the 60s to 70s range, they tore him down. Gerry’s stock dropped faster than Enron’s in 2001 after the season finale and a Nov 29 gotcha piece by Suzanne O’Malley and Barbara Lippert in the Hollywood Reporter, where they pointed out several discrepancies in the story Gerry told about himself during the show, and ABC’s producers had created about him. In addition, Golden Bachelor fans didn’t appreciate Gerry telling more than one woman he loved her, even though everyone knows the format is that he begins with 22 women, narrows the numbers down until he is left with two, and feelings often do develop. Heaven forbid, gracious and gentlemanly Gerry is an imperfect and flawed man. As a therapist and former newspaper reporter, I have a few things to say about Gerry, the Hollywood Reporter article, and how quickly Bachelor fans turned on the man.
Why Choosing a Hot, Sexy Mate May Make You Miserable.
Maybe I’m stating the obvious, but who you choose to spend your life with matters more than just about any decision a person could make. In my fantasies, I am the sole purveyor of marriage licenses, and no one can marry without my approval. Why do I want to control people’s choices? Most individuals who have married, left to their own free will, have done a disastrous job. So, what can we do to change that?
It’d be helpful if people put more than a little thought into it. When a person is 22 and focusing on hot guys, hot women, and those who can party down, the odds of the marital deal working out are slim to none. To me, the most important thing you can do is 1. Allow yourself to get past your 20s and get to know yourself and what matters to you. Who you are at 20 or 25 is not remotely who you will be at 35 or 45. 2. Focus on finding someone solid. This means they are healthy mentally and emotionally, free of addictions, do what they say they will do, are who they say they are, and you can count on them in all the different ways that matter. 3. Be able to tell yourself, “Man, this person enhances my life so much that I’d be a fool to let them go.”
How to Make a Marriage Work With StepChildren
The art of making blended family relationships work. by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. For years, I have begged friends not to marry a man or woman with minor age children. Marriage is hard without the added unique challenges of children from other relationships, not to mention the wild card known as the former spouse. Some former Read More
How to Leave Without Hurting Your Partner
Breakup tips for those who don’t do confrontation by Becky Whetstone, Ph.D. “Many human beings will go out of their way to avoid discomfort and to not cause others discomfort. This policy, adopted early in life, will cause lifelong suffering and dysfunction. The only way to true health and good relationships is to be real, Read More
Too Many People Know Nothing About Healthy Relationships.
Self-esteem is step one for building strong relationships. You can be the most intelligent, successful, or prosperous person in the room, and I’ll bet you 25 cents you know very little about how to have a healthy relationship with yourself or anyone else. How do I know? I have worked with thousands of men and Read More
Dealing With a Nagging, Bitchy Wife.
Nagging, bitchy women, and dealing with partners who don’t listen. The quickest way for anyone to get zero cooperation from a woman is to call her a bitch. After that vile word is spoken, she will take pleasure in sticking an imaginary knife into whoever’s heart and twisting it with glee. Even if you have Read More
Gold Star Mother Laments Trump’s Comments About the Fallen.
Recently, I was traumatized by former President Donald Trump, and it wasn’t the first time. My son, Marine LCpl Benjamin Whetstone Schmidt, a proud scout sniper, was killed in Afghanistan on October 6, 2011, almost 12 years ago, becoming a war hero and breaking our hearts. Benjamin’s family members are now part of a group no one wants to be in — Gold Star Families. During World War I, families of fallen war heroes began wearing black armbands with a gold star on them, hanging banners and flags with a gold star in their windows and yards, and ever since, family members of fallen heroes have been referred to as a Gold Star Family.